Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
