So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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