Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
