Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You have to summon your inner elephant
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
