oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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