Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
