I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
