Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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