what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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