Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
