She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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