i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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