Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
