dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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