honey bunches of taint.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
