True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
