Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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