Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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