Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
