Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
