I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
