She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
