I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize