he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
