The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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