so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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