you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
