I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
