Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
