Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
