if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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