Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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