i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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