I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
