I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
