I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
