He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
