Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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