Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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