i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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