She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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