i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
