summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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