that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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