me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
