I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
40s are totally the cure
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
