1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
