All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize