so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
