I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
