guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
