dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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