You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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