You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
