So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
