the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
