I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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