i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
