I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
