"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
