i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
