I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
