dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
