What did we do last night that was yellow?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
